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I don't want my kids around my ex's new boyfriend.

My ex is dating this new guy and I feel like he's a bad guy. I don't want her to have my kids around him. What can I do?

The answer is it depends. The Courts hear this many times. Sometimes this concern is raised for good reason. But many times, it is because it is difficult and hurtful for a parent to see their child form a relationship with a step-parent and they want the Court to prevent someone else from "taking their place."

So the first thing to ask yourself what do you mean he's a bad guy? Is he a liar and cheater? Or is he a really "bad guy" who is violent, a sexual predator, a drug dealer, etc.

  • If he's just a liar and a cheater, you need more than that before a Court will tell mom she cannot have the kids around him.

  • If he is a known criminal or drug dealer / user (i.e. drug convictions on his criminal record), that may be enough depending on 1) how old the convictions are; 2) what the convictions are for (i.e. a marijuana possession charge is not enough but a drug trafficking or unlawful possession of a weapon may be); and 3) whether you have any actual proof that he is currently engaging in this activity.

  • But, if he's violent (i.e. has a history of Domestic Violence before or with your child's mother) or is a sexual predator (i.e. sexual criminal convictions, subject to Megan's Law, etc), that is enough for the Court to determine it is not good for this person to be around your child.

So before you raise that issue to the Court, get your evidence together. If you believe the person has a criminal of violent or drug crimes, you may want to spend the money to run a criminal background check so that you can present that to the Court. Don’t be mistaken, the Court cannot run this person’s criminal background at Court. It is your burden to prove your allegations.

Hopefully you don’t find yourself in this situation. If you and your child’s mother cannot make your relationship last, the next best thing is that both you and her enter into relationships with a good person whom loves your child and whom your child will like.

If you need help with a custody issue or parenting time, give me a call at 609-892-8773.


The contents of this blog entry are provided for informational purposes only. You should consult with an attorney to determine how the law applies to the facts of your particular case. Reading this blog entry does not create an attorney-client relationship with Kelly McGriff Law.

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